Birch Tree Cake


I am busy today planning a menu for a church retreat next weekend, I am the head cook. I have about 40-50 people to feed with a healthy menu. Trick is this is adults, kids are easy….. they are not quite sure what they like yet and can be convinced to try a new meal. Adults are stubborn and convinced that they only like certain things.

Anyways, back in November I had wedding cake to do and the bride asked for a birch tree cake. She saw a picture on Pinterest and had her heart set on it.

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The bride and her future husband both had degrees in conservation. This was to be their wedding cake.

I worked and toiled and had some issues and I worked through them all. So, here is how I made the wedding cake. But I am happy it turned out so well.

  • 1 cup sugar,
  • 1 tsp. baking powder,
  • 1 cup water,
  • 1 tsp. salt ,
  • 1 cup brown sugar,
  • Lemon juice,
  • 4 large eggs,
  • Bubble gum flavoring,
  • 1…bottle Vodka,

Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the bubble gum flavoring. Mix on the turner. If the gubble bum get as stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the Vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your batter. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the dog.

No, this is not how I made the cake but it was funny and the bride loved it. Here is how the cake turned out.

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